By Breana Ross
It was late April when I realized my dream of interning in New York this summer would not become a reality. I had gotten into the prestigious T Howard Foundation and my resume was being sent to some of the biggest names in the media industry in New York, from CBS Sports to the Bleacher Report to CNN. I was sure I would secure something. I had planned to stay with a friend who had secured an internship with an apartment for cheap. Everything appeared to be lining up in my favor. Then suddenly, my plans of spending the summer in New York crumbled. My housing fell through and I was left to turn down some of my dream companies that had shown interest in me. Not only would I not be in New York, I wasn’t sure that I would find an internship at all.
That is when the T Howard Foundation came to my rescue. They did everything they could to find me an internship in D.C., near my hometown. By the grace of God, a couple of weeks before the T Howard orientation, they found me an internship in D.C. It was not with a company that does exactly what I want to do in the future but I was thrilled that I would get to participate in the program, meet new people, and not spend my summer internshipless. During orientation, I was meeting so many amazing fellow interns who were going to be working with some of the companies that I had dreamed of interning with in cities I had dreamed of living in. I felt the disappointment of not having an internship that aligned more with my intended career path sink in but I pushed it away as I remembered that I wasn’t even sure if I’d have an internship a month ago. I was grateful for the opportunity, I really was.
During my first days at my internship, it did not take long for me to realize that it was different from what I was used to. It wasn’t a news station. It wasn’t a sports network. It wasn’t where I’d pictured myself. The work was largely administrative and as I looked at pictures of my fellow T Howard interns at their respective organizations, I began to feel discouraged. They were at the NBA Draft, the BET Awards, the ESPYs, on the sets of shows, attending high-profile company events, and meeting stars while I was sitting at a desk sorting through spreadsheets and DVDs all day. I began to feel like I wasn’t learning anything from my summer experience and that I wasn’t growing. My attitude started to reflect that. I slapped a smile on my face every time I went to work but when I came home I was asking my parents (and God) why my original plan couldn’t have worked out. I wanted to know why I wasn’t having the same experiences as everyone else and what I had done wrong.
Then I realized something profound. Being upset about what didn’t happen or what didn’t work out would not change my present situation. Dwelling on what I didn’t have instead of being grateful for what I did have was causing me to be miserable and negative. There were plenty of good things that happened as a result of this internship and staying at home in D.C. for the summer. I was paired with a mentor who is doing EXACLTLY what I hope to be doing in a few years. She is a reporter for ABC7 news in DC and helped me grow as a journalist just by allowing me to observe her in action. I was also able to spend time with family and friends and focus on growing in my spirituality. Most importantly I was able to focus on ME, something I hadn’t done in a while. When I came back from school, I had pneumonia. I had lost some weight (not intentionally) and I was exhausted. My health and well-being had gotten lost in all of the chaos of school and I had forgotten to take care of myself. If I had been away from home for the summer, my pattern of neglecting myself and my health probably would have continued. Being home gave me a chance to rest, recharge, and regain my strength (with a little bit of help from my Mom, of course J ). God knew that what I wanted was not what I needed, so He gave me what I needed instead.
As soon as I changed my attitude towards my situation, everything began to change. I started opening up and being myself more at work. I started chatting with my co-workers and I realized that some of them have the same dreams and ambitions that I do. I even realized that some of them have experience working in my field or know people who currently do. I began networking more, smiling more, and embracing my experience. In doing this, I realized that my internship really was a special place. I grew more personally than I did professionally. I learned to speak up for myself, to maintain a positive outlook in the midst of disappointment, that I need to take more risks and jumps in life, and that a 9 to 5 office job is not for me (lol). I never would have been able to do this if I hadn’t changed my attitude and outlook.
My point here is that every situation is what we make of it. We can choose to be miserable and dwell on what we don’t have or what didn’t go as planned or we can choose to gain whatever we are meant to gain from where we are. From a spiritual perspective, sometimes God puts us in places to shape us for what he has in store for us. He puts us in smaller places so that we are able to grow into people who can withstand the bigger blessings He will bring in the future. Don’t block learning opportunities and times of growth with a negative attitude. Be patient. Be open. Trust the process.
Breana Ross 